Category Archives: Parenting

parenting

I have a dream for a non-profit to help families

I have a dream that one day I have the courage to set up a non-profit organization to help families who need respite care. How did this dream drift about? Out of my own desperate unmet needs. Continue reading

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Pro-life is essentially a necessity from the view of a mom

Pro-life definition

According to Google, the definition of pro-life is opposing abortion and euthanasia. It makes sense because if you do not support pro-life, you are pro-death. Essentially, a person who is pro-abortion and supporter of euthanasia is pro-death.

What does that mean? It means in favor of ending life through medical induced means either to end a pregnancy or assisted suicide.

Why is pro-life essentially a necessity?

Why am I here talking about this? Before I became a mom 6 years ago, I was never interested in the debate on the pro and cons on this issue. My view then was ‘none of my business’.

What changed my mind? The day I held my son in my arms and nursed him. This beautiful baby in my face, changed everything that I stood for. It was the first time I saw life as one so beautiful and precious.

Moms you are made to procreate

My plead to moms is that you need to know you are made to procreate. That is how special you are. Life comes from your womb. Some politicians argue that pro-life supporters are selfish.

How is a mom selfish when she learns to care and love a new life and takes responsibility for this new life she procreates? It is when one chooses to end another life, deciding that little life is not worth living because her ‘needs’ come first. Taking that life away is selfishness.

Young ladies, listen

Sometimes, as young women, you do not like to think that the act of taking another life (or clump of cells) is selfishness. But it is true. When you decide to have sex, and not consider the consequence of that act, you do not care do you? Now listen. You can either choose to take responsibility or find an easy way out of your turmoil.

Let me remind you that that abortion you took would haunt you for the rest of your life. One day should you decide to be a mom, you may never be able to conceive again.

Pro-life
Abortion – No!

As for those young ladies who choose to have babies to collect child support, I have a word for you. You are destroying lives. Your babies are not money-making machines. You are selfish and they deserve a better mom. If you are ever going to be a mom, be the best that you can be.

If you are unfortunate and was raped, I feel for you. You do not deserved being raped. When someone destroys your dream and hope, your future, that person deserves  being punished or even be put to death. I know. It hurts deep.

I truly do not expect you to take care of that baby. It is understandable if you cannot do it. If you can, give that little life up for adoption. 

Next generation depends on you

The word to procreate is to produce young. Our role as moms, is to produce the next generation to keep the family going. Are we going to produce healthy secured individuals? Why do I ask this question?

My son as some of you know him as David, often in our conversations we talk about death. Why is he so concerned about death? After all, he is only a 6-year-old boy.

In our in depth conversations, I discover he is afraid of being left behind alone without me. His fear and insecurity is the basis for his interest in the topic. I often have to remind him the beauty of life. Life is worthwhile because of the people you love.

Choose pro-life because life is better with you in it

Do you have someone you love deeply? Life is most worth the while because of that beautiful person/s you love. Do you know you are deeply loved? Then choose to be a pro-life rather than pro-death because life is better with you around.

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Satan, Did God Create Satan?

WHAT LED TO THIS QUESTION ABOUT SATAN?

Satan- ‘Why does God create satan?’ was the most interesting question that my 5-year-old asked me today.

So, how did this question come about in our conversation? Part of our conversation was: ‘Who is satan?’

When we talk about who satan is, we talk about the existence of evil. If we further elaborate on what evil is, and know what evil is capable of, then why does God create satan? Here’s what our conversation led to.
FREEWILL TO LOVE
To love God, God demands that we love Him with all our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Why can’t God simply accept it when we say we love him? Does God insist that we love Him with all our hearts, minds and souls? What has it to do with satan then?
Have you ever expect that your spouse whom you love will love you back in return? Love is the most beautiful thing on this earth. When you truly love, you give your all to that which you love, am I right?
Sometimes, your love is not reciprocated. That is why love can be hurtful. When God creates us, He desires for us to love Him fully, wholeheartedly. Yet, at the same time, He recognizes that His creation may not reciprocate in the same manner. That He allows freewill.
The same way we are capable of – to love with all our hearts, minds and souls or to hate and despise Him. In order to know for sure, who truly loves you, you have to allow that person that freewill to not love you.
WHY THEN DOES GOD CREATE SATAN?
Which lead us back to this question: ‘Why does God create satan?’ God created Lucifer, the arc angel Lucifer. Lucifer was a high ranking angel. He was created to worship God and be God’s messenger. However, he wanted to become like God, became a rebel and fell away from Him.
Lucifer later became satan, the originator of evil. Lucifer became the deceiver. Therefore it is safe to say that Lucifer is the creator of the persona of satan, the evil that is rampant in our invisible realm. If God did not create satan, then why did He not put a stop to him anyway?
GOD CREATES HELL FOR SATAN AND HIS FOLLOWERS
God passed His judgement on satan by sending him and his followers to hell. That would be their final resting place. God must have hate satan so much that He send him to hell, right? Good question!
I don’t think God hate Lucifer, but the evil and darkness that deceive so many. The attempt that satan masterminds to take with him as many of God’s creation to hell is despicable to speak the least. Why should God tolerate such act?
Many think God is a tyrant, merciless and cruel Ruler. Yet, when they take time to read the Bible, they discover opposite is true. Through the Bible, we know God became man in the person of Jesus Christ (Son of God).
Jesus through his life, we know that he was humiliated, misunderstood, and died on the Cross (treated like a criminal). But, was glorified through his resurrection, 3 days after his death on the Cross.
JESUS THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB
The only reason Jesus came to live on earth for 33 years, he fits the description of the sacrificial lamb (the only offering that could appease God).
If God is indeed a tyrant, merciless and cruel as many think, why would He sacrifice Himself to die on the Cross and His blood that cleanses us from all our sins (wrong doing) and set us free to be with Him forever in Heaven?
The only explanation is this, He loves what He created and treasure everyone of them.
But, for those who choose to hate Him anyway, there is nothing more He could do but to let you have your way. Sometimes, when you do your best to provide for your children and yet your children cannot appreciate the good you do for them, you simply have to let them go and give them time to find their way home back to you.
This is all I have to say. Good nite to you all and may you spot that light that help you figure out the answer you are looking for. Feel fress to visit our Facebook Page.
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Good Enough And Brave Moms! Don’t Let Others Tell You Otherwise.

 Good Enough, Mom?

Are you moms who are struggling with self-confidence that ask constantly: ‘Am I good enough?’ and ‘Have I done enough?’ Today, I like to say: ‘You are good enough and you are brave.’ Don’t let others tell you otherwise.

Good Enough Is Not Enough

Parents enter into this journey with nothing but clean clear pages with nothing written on them. You look for manuals but found none. You look for instructions and  got disappointed. We literally have to pray through our pregnancies at all times and I suspect that every pregnancy is covered by prayers from those who love us.

Meanwhile, we study the handbook ensuring that we are prepared when baby arrives. The truth is no matter how prepared we think we are, there is always something that reminds us otherwise. Do we struggle to become the best? If we compare with other moms, are we at the 99.9 percentile? The top 1% in the parenting world?

Good Enough Is The Best We Know How

Through this journey of parenting, we learn to take note. We observe, we question and we take notes. That is how we become the best because we learn through our mistakes. That is also how I believe God grows our mindset as parents. It is also through our desperate times, we come to God for help.

Do we need all our questions answered? The answer is no. The learning continues as we grow through our life experiences. We learn to make better choices over our failures. Interestingly, we learn to increase our ability to work within our limitations over time. We have become therefore the best that we know how. That is good enough by the way, moms.

You Are A Brave Mom! That Is Good Enough

Parenting is no easy feat. Trust me! You need courage and grit. For that reason you are brave enough. Look at your child’s achievements not failures. Seek to empower not put down. Look at how much you have grown as a mom and dad. You are brave enough to take on the challenges of raising a lifelong learner. That is good enough! Don’t you think?

Good enough

Enjoy your special day with your families mothers. Don’t worry too much. You have it made. If you enjoy reading my blogs, click like and share on DOTA Facebookpage

 

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The Cause And Effect Of Anger: Why Anger Is Not The Answer?

A Talk About Anger

As a parent, did you ever have to talk to your child about anger? The issue is real in a child growing up. There are moments where as a parent we have to engage and sometimes confront our kids about their struggle coping with it. It is not a pleasant conversation but a necessary reinforcement if the behavior persists.

My question is: What would you tell your child about the emotion? Yes, anger is a natural emotion that if provoked, is normal. But, the issue is how do you regulate that emotion and not be subdued by it? What do you mean? Well, here’s where I would like to discuss whether being angry is a problem or is inability to control it, the problem? What then is the solution if any?

Cause And Effect Of Anger

Do you agree with me that such emotion is not desirable and not acceptable socially? Now ask yourself why it is so? So, you think it is destructive? Have you thought about why such behavior is destructive?

I have a 5-year-old whom I spend substantial time explaining why anger is not an emotion that brings happiness around people. This is what I’ve said to him. Do not try to collect and stay angry for a long time. The more frustration you collect, the worst you would feel inside. It would eventually reach a point you cannot hold in any longer and you explode.

When you explode, others around you get hurt. So, they begin to collect anger like you and the more they collect, the more they hold in and subsequently, they explode too. This time, when they explode, you get hurt by them. The cycle continues.

Questions And Discussion – Is Anger A Good Thing?

At this point, I stop to ask him some questions. Do you think being angry is a good thing? Why and why not? I need to ask these questions in order to know if he understands what I’m trying to tell him. Being a bright little guy, he shows that he has understood me. So, he concludes that being and stay angry is not a good thing because it hurts others and himself. So, what’s the solution?

What Would You Tell Your Child? – Staying Away From Anger

Now, I change the scenario and instead of staying angry, I encourage him to think about what if. What if you give away hugs? What would happen?  Everyone is happy. What are we collecting this time? Happiness. Is happiness a good thing? When you feel good and everyone around you feels good, it brings joy and smiles instead of hurts. Let us collect hugs and spread happiness instead. We need to understand that in some cases, there are exceptions.

Exceptional Situation Beyond Our Understanding

Some kids have difficulty controlling their emotions due to some disability, that is true. Emotional outbursts are often the result of a child’s inability to control his/her emotion. Expressing complex emotions can be perplexed for some, therefore, it is a real difficult challenge for them. There are several reasons why they are struggling although, there are times, it may not necessary be their fault.

For example, children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) have difficulty controlling their emotions and we need sensitivity and awareness when we meet a child with ADHD. How do we encourage our kids to include friends with ADHD during play time?

The Next Question Is

How do we then teach our children to relate with others who are different? Fear often stops us from wanting to relate with someone who is different from us. There are several reasons why we are afraid. How do we teach our kiddos to open up to peers unlike their thinking?

If you have any input to add to our discussion, please feel free to comment on our post below. What would you say is a good solution to teach our kiddos about anger and what can we learn from them?

 

 

 

 

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The New Chapter – Beyond David’s Mom

The New Chapter – As David’s Learning Coach

When Dan and I decided the path for David was to home-school him, my new chapter as David‘s learning coach began. We were excited when his enrollment was accepted by K12.com

Excitement continued to build up when we finally had a chance to talk to his new teacher over the phone. To cut the story short, David was transferred from Transitional Kindergarten to Kindergarten.

 The New Chapter Comes The New Reality

New chapter

Now, after the introduction to David’s new school online, Dan and I were told about our roles as his learning coaches. We had to go through orientation courses to get ready for this new role we were about to embark with him. The reality of being David’s learning coach finally set in. It took me a while to adapt and adjust to this new role in my life. Seven weeks had past and David did well although not always smooth sailing, we made it. This week, his teacher is preparing to meet all the parents and planning for the next quarter. We are meeting her on the 24th of October in the morning.

The Knots Behind My New Chapter – As A Learning Coach

He never has to do any intense work all through his 4 years on earth so far. He gets to play all day and not much schooling unless he wants to. If he does do any school work, they have never bothered him before. They are usually fun for him. About 4-5 weeks into our homeschooling program, David mentioned that school was hard work. The 7 weeks of homeschooling was not always smooth sailing like I’ve said before.

We struggled and got back to school on several occasions. One of the struggle we had was trying to get all the various phonic sounds accurately. I was born with a cleft palate and teaching David phonics was a tremendous task for me. Sometimes, if you know David, he liked to be the teacher instead.. and that did not help either. Unfortunately, the struggle might have caused him some anxiety which did not help our relationship as mom and son. At times, I wished the struggles never happened. Other than phonics, we got along pretty well.

The Needs To Advocate As A Mom In This New Chapter

I was his mom to begin with, although in my new chapter I was called to be David’s learning coach. I felt as his mom, I needed to fight for what was best for him. In so many way, I could work around to keep him engaged and growing in knowledge because I knew how to work according to his ability. He did great in many areas in Kindergarten however, I felt he needed more challenge in Mathematics so my mommy instinct kicked in.

I felt the need to push for more expectation from his Kindergarten teacher despite the fact that as a law abiding citizen, I grew up following rules and regulations. This is clearly another new chapter in my life. From a reserved and timid individual, I have become an advocate and David’s learning coach. This new chapter brought forth some epiphany moments in me.

The Epiphany Behind My New Chapter As David’s Learning Coach

Epiphancy of homeschooling

Into the 7 weeks of homeschooling David, I got to see him for the first time cutting shapes independently using a safety scissors. He is able to write phrases reasonably well in lower case letters. So much so that even Grandpa noticed how much he improved in his handwriting. This proud mama had to share with his teacher.

The epiphany moment came when his teacher called me ‘a blessed homeschooling mom’. You see,  7 weeks before, we were not sure if we were ready to home-school David. However, 7 weeks into his Kindergarten, mommy suddenly realized we made the right choice to home-school him. We got to see, our own ‘aha’ moment. Nothing is more worthwhile than experiencing our ‘aha’ moments with David.

New Chapter -What’s For The Future?

For now, we are happy with our decision. We will continue to home-school David until the need arises to make another decision together. To work harder at improving my skills as a learning coach and be more sensitive to David’s feelings to build him up.

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Parental Opinions Matter – No Matter What The Professionals Say

Parental Opinions Matter

When parental opinions are undermined as in Charlie Gard’s case in United Kingdom, who then has the rights? When the States undermine parental opinions arguing that the rights of the child come before his caregivers’ opinions and win, what’s next?

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Too Late For Charlie Gard – Move Forward With His Experimental Treatment In United States

Too Late For Charlie?

This morning I woke up with a heavy heart after receiving a devastating news update on Charlie Gard’s latest development. It is a piece of news no parents look forward to. Both Chris Gard and Connie Yates declared their decision to end their legal battle to save Charlie’s life. This decision came after Dr. Michio Hirano took a look at the scan submitted to the court by the Hospital today. The prognosis did not look good.

According to the report that came out this morning, “Charlie has experienced significant muscular atrophy, for instance, as a result of his condition. While the treatment could potentially improve his condition – though doctors have said the chances are low – it would not be able to reverse those effects and so it is too late to pursue that route, the family has agreed.” 

After 5 months of Charlie’s parents fighting to save their son, it is too late.

Charlie’s Parents Prepare For His Verdict – Too Late

As Chris and Connie make peace to accept the news that they did everything they could to give Charlie a chance to live, no matter how long or short it might seem, to prepare for Charlie’s last remaining days left with them. This is a devastating day not only for them but also for any parents who believe that life is worth saving. No matter how short that little life is or in some circumstances, is allowed to live.

Too late

What does ‘die with dignity’ mean to Charlie? 

Does the term ‘die with dignity’ mean anything to Charlie? Or is ‘die with dignity’ a comforting thought for us as adults because Charlie is a hopeless case? Charlie’s primary doctors could not reach a final decision that Charlie is in pain. How can we say that by removing Charlie’s life support we are letting him ‘die with dignity’? Why do we have to fight this hard to save a life before it is too late?

Is ending a life easier than saving one these day? Who truly win today?

Did the law of Britain win today? 

Judge Fransis will make his decision on Charlie tomorrow and we know what is going to happen to him. For those who believe that the law rules over parental rights, you may feel you are right on today. It is time to celebrate indeed.  Those who think Charlie got 5 more months to live, got justification by the verdict today. You breathe a little better because you are probably right.

The truth is, when a life ends, no one wins. No one reaches this far to stay alive and is ultimately given the verdict that it is ‘too late’. Please I ask you continue to pray for Charlie‘s parents through this ordeal.

Did GOSH Do Enough For Charlie? -Too Late

Did Charlie’s primary doctors from GOSH do all they could, to care adequately for him while put on the ventilator for life support? Or was it true, that his death sentence was declared since March?

My question is: Did Charlie continue to receive any form of therapy that is, physical therapy, while he was under the care of GOSH after March? This action speaks volume because we need to know if Charlie got the death sentence since the hospital decided that he was truly a ‘hopeless case’ in March?

Why does it matter or does it matter to anyone that a hospital has the right to give up on its patient and deny any form of treatment presumably before seeking a second opinion?

By raising these questions I hope we will seriously ponder on what is right and what is appropriate. Charlie deserves an answer from our conscience not out of our convenience.

The Frustration Continues For Chris And Connie

Every step of the way was difficult and obstructed by the Great Ormond Street Hospital in London. In fact the final obstruction came today from GOSH clearly showed how unwilling the Hospital was to help Charlie’s family.

If it is truly so important to GOSH to make sure that Charlie ‘dies with dignity’, then GOSH needs to release him to his family to let him die at home with privacy in his mom and dad’s final care. Just stop making absolute impossibility to Charlie’s final moment.

Judge Fransis Rulings

July 26 update: The battle continues.. Judge Fransis gave a statement that if Charlie’s parents and GOSH cannot reach an agreement by 12pm tomorrow (July 27 ), Charlie will die in a hospice facility.

July 27 update: Judge Fransis ruled that Charlie will die in a hospice facility and Charlie’s parents are disheartened by the outcome of the ruling today.

July 28 update: Charlie passed away today after the order to remove his life support executed.

Reflection on Charlie

Please pray for Chris and Connie as they did the best they could for Charlie. Although life does not always go the way we expect, we can only trust God that He knows why He is in a hurry to receive Charlie back in His arms in Heaven. The truth is even though the world let Charlie down, God will not. He is safe in God’s arms now. Let Charlie #restinpeace.

 

 

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Hugalicious Day Everyone – Celebrate The Story Behind It All

Hello everyone! My name is David and I am 4. I am going 5 on August 29. Happy Hugalicious Day! ‘Hugalicious is that it will never end’. Come celebrate Hugalicious Day with me on August 21. Post how you celebrate Hugalicious with me and hashtag it to #celebratehugaliciousdaywithdavid I love to watch your videos.

The Story Behind Hugalicious Day

David loves putting 2 words together and creates a whole new word. It’s his thing. He is absolutely creative and definitely a curious little guy. He is always looking for new ideas through his play and learning. One day he saw an advertisement and he shouted: ‘Cycleboard’! Now you ask: ‘What’s a Cycleboard’? Cycleboard

By the time David is 4, he’s reading really well for his age. He calls himself  ‘Math Bee‘ and a great speller for his age. David enjoys playing games like ‘Angry birds’, ‘Bad Piggies’, ‘Cut the rope with Om Nom’ and others. He loves to sing and dance and adores minions and various characters in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Occasionally, he gets special treats by going to the play area in his favorite McDonald. Even though he is 4, David is able to google anything he wants to know on his computer. He aspires to become an awesome game host and his favorite is: ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’  David is starting his schooling, a day before he turns 5, online with K12.com

Reasons Why Hugalicious Is Important To David

He loves playing with his friends and often looks forward to social activities, however, due to our present circumstance, we are unable to do so. David’s dad was and is still unemployed for more than 2 years now. We moved in to take care of David’s grandpa.

When David was 2, we gave him a $5 calculator as a Christmas gift that year. We could not afford more because of our circumstance. That turned out as an awesome idea because he loved numbers. Even to this day, he loves to learn everything new that is to do with numbers.

He does not attend birthday parties because they cost money. We celebrate his birthdays by going out to dinners and cakes just on his birthdays. Yet this little guy never once complain that we do not give him a birthday party.

Mom’s Thoughts And Reflection

As his parents, we cannot give him much like many kids his age, however, David never ask for anything. Most of what he has come from gifts his grandma bought for him on his first birthday. Often neighbors would drop by and gave him items he needed, solely by the grace of God.

David

David stays home most of time and so he loves his computer. When he brought up the idea about Hugalicious Day, I just love it. I hope that by doing this, David gets to learn he makes a difference even though he is 4. He would learn that his ideas can make someone else happy.

 

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Bullying – A Deadly Epidemic That Needs To End

Bullying – A Deadly Epidemic That Needs To End

Do you know? Bullying is becoming a deadly epidemic in America. Yet, quite frankly, we are nowhere near addressing this issue. Will we ever see an end to bullying? For now, I simply cannot see how unless we as a nation address this with absolute honesty and says: ‘Enough is enough!’

Today, in my attempt to discuss the problems behind bullying, I hope to show you how serious and deadly this epidemic actually is and why we need to do something to stop it.

Bullying Happens Everywhere Not Just In Schools

Bullying does not happen just in schools. In fact, we see it daily and it is happening everywhere and at every level. We see it in work places, over the media and social networks, at home and sadly, our children pick it up and use it for various reasons.

Many of our children become victims to bullying and sadly, more are choosing suicide to get out of it. The bullying suicide statistics is ever climbing at an alarming rate. So have you wonder why so many of our children are either bullied or are bullies themselves?

Reasons Why People Choose Bullying

Bullying is not an issue just for our children alone, it is also for the adults. Why do people choose to bully?

People choose to bully because they are

  1. stressed out and they simply slap their frustration on another person.
  2. insecure and needs to present themselves bigger than they actually are.
  3. cowards who pick on those weaker than them.
  4. in need for affirmation because they lack it.
  5. afraid of those who are different and better than them.
  6. lacking in love from those they seek love and attention.
  7. forceful and do not know how to relate and communicate appropriately.
  8. hurting and manipulate to get what they want.
  9. brought up believing that bullying is okay.
  10. survivors – thinking that only the strongest survive mentality.

Bullying Is A Tell-Tale Sign 

Bullying is a tell-tale sign to something bigger. According the reasons above, I notice that one thing calls out to me. People hide their hurts and are afraid being truthful about their pain and needs.

Why as a society and nation that pursues freedom for its citizens, its people are not free being truthful as they are? Can this inability for truthfulness, a huge problem we have not addressed? A mountain we have no clue where and how to begin looking.

Bullying

Can we be truthful when we address:

Tolerance – When we call on others for tolerance, we need to look at ourselves and honestly ask and demand that we are able to do likewise. If we are unable to meet that, then we should not put that expectation on anyone.

If we are intolerance of others opinions and views, be truthful about it. As we address others’ inability to tolerate, we need to look inwardly and address it within ourselves why we are intolerant of others at the same time.

Respect – We can agree to disagree on anything. We do not need to resort to name calling to those who disagree with us. When we communicate, we make sure we get our thoughts across clearly and to the point.

Believe that the receiving end of our communication has something good to offer to us.  Be respectful and return with kindness. Be an intensive listener. Simply, do unto others what you would want others to do unto you.

Love – It is not easy to love strangers, am I right? What do we know about them? So, why do we get so upset and frustrated communicating with strangers over the social media? Do we talk to our friends and neighbors in the same way?

The truth: Are we bullying strangers because we do not have to face them like we communicate with colleagues  and neighbors? Simply because there is no consequences to answer to? On the contrary, if we do everything out of love, we can love even strangers whom we do not know.

The Reason Behind This Deadly Epidemic – Bullying

The reason this epidemic is so deadly is because our youths are in crisis. The constant and relentless bullying is wearing our young people out, forcing them to choose suicide as the only option left to ease from their suffering and pain. Often, when a suicide attempt is successful, a life gone and ended.

The hardcore truth is the victims of bullying who attempt suicides are not only our youths but our children in their tween. If we as a society do not address this epidemic, we are going to lose our children to suicides. When will we wake up and do something before it is too late.

In Conclusion

It is not enough talking about what bullying does. We need to as a nation take a deeper look at ourselves, how we treat others, what we show by examples to our children, how we value life, and where we stand on bullying and ultimately how serious are we to say: ‘Enough is enough!’ We have a problem. It is time to end it once and for all.

 

 

 

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