Good Enough And Brave Moms! Don’t Let Others Tell You Otherwise.

 Good Enough, Mom?

Are you moms who are struggling with self-confidence that ask constantly: ‘Am I good enough?’ and ‘Have I done enough?’ Today, I like to say: ‘You are good enough and you are brave.’ Don’t let others tell you otherwise.

Good Enough Is Not Enough

Parents enter into this journey with nothing but clean clear pages with nothing written on them. You look for manuals but found none. You look for instructions and  got disappointed. We literally have to pray through our pregnancies at all times and I suspect that every pregnancy is covered by prayers from those who love us.

Meanwhile, we study the handbook ensuring that we are prepared when baby arrives. The truth is no matter how prepared we think we are, there is always something that reminds us otherwise. Do we struggle to become the best? If we compare with other moms, are we at the 99.9 percentile? The top 1% in the parenting world?

Good Enough Is The Best We Know How

Through this journey of parenting, we learn to take note. We observe, we question and we take notes. That is how we become the best because we learn through our mistakes. That is also how I believe God grows our mindset as parents. It is also through our desperate times, we come to God for help.

Do we need all our questions answered? The answer is no. The learning continues as we grow through our life experiences. We learn to make better choices over our failures. Interestingly, we learn to increase our ability to work within our limitations over time. We have become therefore the best that we know how. That is good enough by the way, moms.

You Are A Brave Mom! That Is Good Enough

Parenting is no easy feat. Trust me! You need courage and grit. For that reason you are brave enough. Look at your child’s achievements not failures. Seek to empower not put down. Look at how much you have grown as a mom and dad. You are brave enough to take on the challenges of raising a lifelong learner. That is good enough! Don’t you think?

Good enough

Enjoy your special day with your families mothers. Don’t worry too much. You have it made. If you enjoy reading my blogs, click like and share on DOTA Facebookpage

 

Alfie and parents

Alfie Evans Deserves The Right To Live!

How Alfie Evans Was Sentence To Death

As a mom of a 5-year-old, my heart broke for both Tom, Kate and especially Alfie. As we all know from the media reporting out of England, the heart breaking story of Alfie Evans who literally had to fight for his life on the 23rd of April 2018.

The doctors removed Alfie’s life support (ventilator) because of Alfie’s hopeless diagnosis (a rare progressive neuro-degenerative disease associated with severe epilepsy). Basically, it meant, his doctors prescribed a death sentence for Alfie because his life was deemed futile. Therefore, ‘end of life care’ became the only option for Alfie as his final stage of healthcare ended.

There Is Hope For Alfie Evans

Alfie Evans

Guess what? After 100 hours, Alfie is still breathing, on his own with only 1 litre of oxygen to supplement what he needs. He is an awesome strong fighter. Showing the entire world that he desires to live. There is hope for Alfie Evans.

What More Does Alfie Evans Have To Prove His Desire To Live?

Down Syndrome was a death sentence for many babies in 1945. Yet, we have come this far to acknowledge that children with Down Syndrome are capable of living a good quality of life. Years down the road, we will continue to find ways to support children with rare neuro-degenerative diseases and give them a chance (that same chance we give to children with Downs) to thrive.

Is it not possible? Why should Alfie’s life be cut short because of his condition? Is he to be blamed for the condition he was born with? If not, he does not deserve to die.

We as a society we should learn to empathize and find treatments to assist these children live a full life. We have no right to decide their fate even as care providers and specialists. If the professionals have the right to end a life, then, they have the power to remove a society as they see fit. Now, that is scary!

Leave your comment below. Let us know what you think.

An unexpected update: Alfie Evans passed away in the early morning. Please come together to send our deepest condolences to Tom and Kate. Alfie fought a good fight. Yes, he did!

 

 

Vision 2018 – What God Spoke To My Heart

What God Spoke To My Heart (Vision 2018)

 As I sat down to ponder what DOTA‘s vision 2018 would look like, I recall what God spoke to my heart that got stuck deep within and it never left me since then.
On an early winter morning, I was alone sipping my cup of a delicious coffee. While my husband and father-in-law were away for an early morning doctor appointment and my son still soundly asleep, God spoke:
 “Do not resent or underestimate what God is doing if He is training you to get ready for what’s in store. Rejoice and submit for His greater plan is not to harm you but to bring you a future and a hope.”
The word of God is power and life transforming
 
One night as my husband and I laid on bed and I started sharing with him what I gathered from God lately and what I believed He spoke to me. He said: ‘Do not underestimate what you’re going through.’ ‘Do not resent because the path is tough.’ ‘I am training you for something to come.’
While I poured out my heart to my husband, to my surprise, he too received the same message from God. We do not often find ourselves at the same receiving end. But, when we do, the emotion is incredible.
WOW!! YOU TOO!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!! That was awesome, by the way.
Pouring Of My Heart
So, we believe God has His hands on our lives. We do not simply welcome blessings and goodness in our lives. God has His purpose when He insists that He put us where we do not want to be in but where He believes we needed to be. We simply have to trust that God knows what He is doing.
The last 3 years have been tough. Sometimes, my faith is tested so much that I literally had to grit my teeth and endure through. Hoping for breakthrough and disappointed. Seeking for relief that never came through. Stuck in a circumstance that never see the light of day.
I am sure, you would understand these struggles in life. I am sure I am not the only one that had gone through these, part and puzzle of life.
When you find yourself in a similar situation, submit. It is easier to say it now. The struggle is real. But, eventually, I learned to submit and the peace of God came. When you are ready to listen, He will speak.

Take Time To Reflect And Seek God For Your Vision 2018

 

Vision 2018
Without Faith it is impossible to please God
2018 is coming. Take time to reflect the year and seek God for your future. If you think your plan for next year is great, God’s plan for you is greater. For He does not narrow His vision to 2018, He has your entire life in His hands. Walk only where He shine the path before you because that is what it means to live by FAITH.
Trust Him even though the rest of the path is dim and foggy. He will lead the way and you simply follow, never alone.
Finally, may you anticipate the year of breakthrough in 2018. Living out the promise of a future and hope that God gave in Jeremiah 29:11. #year2018 #DOTA

A Season To Reflect – Giving Thanks For God Is Good!

Season To Reflect?

Prizes
Gift of love

What a year had gone by so quickly and it is that season for us to reflect again what God had done. What is your year like in 2017? Did it go well as you have anticipated? Or is it a year full of challenges and lessons to learn?

In This Season Did You Grow Spiritually?

One key question that you need to ask yourself is that in this season of your life, did you grow at all? Sometimes we can be looking at our situations with a microscopic eye view and get despair because of what we see, thinking everything is hopeless.

Instead, have you step back and focus on the big picture lately? If you have, what do you see? It is not too late.

A Season Of Growth And Hope

During the tough time, choose to declare that God is good. Even though you cannot see the good and understand the reason behind the lessons. Believe that God is in control because He is faithful.

During the good time, give Him praise and glory. For He is good.

Let This Christmas Season Be Special

May you allow God to search your heart and motive this season. During this time of reflection let the Holy Spirit work through you. As a reminder:

Every time you see a candy cane, either hanging on your Christmas tree or simply happen to see one.. simply take a step back and be reminded of God’s big tapestry. Though you cannot see what God is doing because what you see makes no sense right now. Simply put your trust in Him.

Hope In Jesus Christ

one day this full beautiful tapestry will be completed and will be revealed. Let your hope rest in our Lord Jesus for it is the birth of Jesus that brings hope to all mankind. Have a blessed Christmas.

The Cause And Effect Of Anger: Why Anger Is Not The Answer?

A Talk About Anger

As a parent, did you ever have to talk to your child about anger? The issue is real in a child growing up. There are moments where as a parent we have to engage and sometimes confront our kids about their struggle coping with it. It is not a pleasant conversation but a necessary reinforcement if the behavior persists.

My question is: What would you tell your child about the emotion? Yes, anger is a natural emotion that if provoked, is normal. But, the issue is how do you regulate that emotion and not be subdued by it? What do you mean? Well, here’s where I would like to discuss whether being angry is a problem or is inability to control it, the problem? What then is the solution if any?

Cause And Effect Of Anger

Do you agree with me that such emotion is not desirable and not acceptable socially? Now ask yourself why it is so? So, you think it is destructive? Have you thought about why such behavior is destructive?

I have a 5-year-old whom I spend substantial time explaining why anger is not an emotion that brings happiness around people. This is what I’ve said to him. Do not try to collect and stay angry for a long time. The more frustration you collect, the worst you would feel inside. It would eventually reach a point you cannot hold in any longer and you explode.

When you explode, others around you get hurt. So, they begin to collect anger like you and the more they collect, the more they hold in and subsequently, they explode too. This time, when they explode, you get hurt by them. The cycle continues.

Questions And Discussion – Is Anger A Good Thing?

At this point, I stop to ask him some questions. Do you think being angry is a good thing? Why and why not? I need to ask these questions in order to know if he understands what I’m trying to tell him. Being a bright little guy, he shows that he has understood me. So, he concludes that being and stay angry is not a good thing because it hurts others and himself. So, what’s the solution?

What Would You Tell Your Child? – Staying Away From Anger

Now, I change the scenario and instead of staying angry, I encourage him to think about what if. What if you give away hugs? What would happen?  Everyone is happy. What are we collecting this time? Happiness. Is happiness a good thing? When you feel good and everyone around you feels good, it brings joy and smiles instead of hurts. Let us collect hugs and spread happiness instead. We need to understand that in some cases, there are exceptions.

Exceptional Situation Beyond Our Understanding

Some kids have difficulty controlling their emotions due to some disability, that is true. Emotional outbursts are often the result of a child’s inability to control his/her emotion. Expressing complex emotions can be perplexed for some, therefore, it is a real difficult challenge for them. There are several reasons why they are struggling although, there are times, it may not necessary be their fault.

For example, children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) have difficulty controlling their emotions and we need sensitivity and awareness when we meet a child with ADHD. How do we encourage our kids to include friends with ADHD during play time?

The Next Question Is

How do we then teach our children to relate with others who are different? Fear often stops us from wanting to relate with someone who is different from us. There are several reasons why we are afraid. How do we teach our kiddos to open up to peers unlike their thinking?

If you have any input to add to our discussion, please feel free to comment on our post below. What would you say is a good solution to teach our kiddos about anger and what can we learn from them?

 

 

 

 

If Dr. Seuss Is A Racist – Then We Were All Once Racists

Do You Think Dr. Seuss Is A Racist?

Recently a debate broke out that somehow concluded for some that Dr. Seuss is a racist. I disagreed with any one who thought that just because he was ignorant or lack awareness of how a person should react to an unknown prejudgement, should be labelled as a racist. If we are honest with ourselves, we know we struggle to accept certain uncomfortable prejudice that are unspoken or hidden. So, do we call ourselves racists? The fact that something change your mind about another group of people, makes you realize you ‘were once a racist’. Why do I say that?

We are not born without prejudgments because our cultures determine who we are.  Our cultures teach us how to relate, interact and socialize. But, our cultures do not teach us to be inclusive of everyone. Our lack of understanding of another culture, keep us away from the unknown and from our discomfort. For some will acknowledge that they were once racists, however, if  they were, how could they arrive at that conclusion? What made them racists?

What  Or Who Then Is A Racist?

This brings me to my next point. What makes us therefore racists? The fact that we discriminate does not necessarily make us racists. The comparison of who is superior and looking down on a race, that, makes a person a racist. The fact is I am better than you because I am a (race) speaks of your lack of understanding of that culture and race and therefore highlights your ignorance. The truth is, that is what racism is all about. It simply highlights our ignorance and our pride. Do we simply hold on to our stupidity or learn to see what is good in another culture and race?

Dr. Seuss Is Not A Racist

Why do I conclude that Dr. Seuss is absolutely not a racist? It is very simple. The fact that at the end of his life, he regretted ever written those early cartoons. He finally realized that he could have done better and he wished he never did what he did in his earlier work in his life. That realization made that difference. He acknowledged his prejudice and regretted. In that sense made me think that he was never a racist to begin with.

A self-professed racist would never acknowledge that and if we are honest enough, we would have to confess that we were once racists ourselves. If racism is indeed race discrimination and racial prejudice, then we are all absolutely guilty of being racists at the least once. Don’t you agree? Should the one who thinks he is not guilty cast that first stone? Think again.

 

 

New chapter

The New Chapter – Beyond David’s Mom

The New Chapter – As David’s Learning Coach

When Dan and I decided the path for David was to home-school him, my new chapter as David‘s learning coach began. We were excited when his enrollment was accepted by K12.com

Excitement continued to build up when we finally had a chance to talk to his new teacher over the phone. To cut the story short, David was transferred from Transitional Kindergarten to Kindergarten.

 The New Chapter Comes The New Reality

New chapter

Now, after the introduction to David’s new school online, Dan and I were told about our roles as his learning coaches. We had to go through orientation courses to get ready for this new role we were about to embark with him. The reality of being David’s learning coach finally set in. It took me a while to adapt and adjust to this new role in my life. Seven weeks had past and David did well although not always smooth sailing, we made it. This week, his teacher is preparing to meet all the parents and planning for the next quarter. We are meeting her on the 24th of October in the morning.

The Knots Behind My New Chapter – As A Learning Coach

He never has to do any intense work all through his 4 years on earth so far. He gets to play all day and not much schooling unless he wants to. If he does do any school work, they have never bothered him before. They are usually fun for him. About 4-5 weeks into our homeschooling program, David mentioned that school was hard work. The 7 weeks of homeschooling was not always smooth sailing like I’ve said before.

We struggled and got back to school on several occasions. One of the struggle we had was trying to get all the various phonic sounds accurately. I was born with a cleft palate and teaching David phonics was a tremendous task for me. Sometimes, if you know David, he liked to be the teacher instead.. and that did not help either. Unfortunately, the struggle might have caused him some anxiety which did not help our relationship as mom and son. At times, I wished the struggles never happened. Other than phonics, we got along pretty well.

The Needs To Advocate As A Mom In This New Chapter

I was his mom to begin with, although in my new chapter I was called to be David’s learning coach. I felt as his mom, I needed to fight for what was best for him. In so many way, I could work around to keep him engaged and growing in knowledge because I knew how to work according to his ability. He did great in many areas in Kindergarten however, I felt he needed more challenge in Mathematics so my mommy instinct kicked in.

I felt the need to push for more expectation from his Kindergarten teacher despite the fact that as a law abiding citizen, I grew up following rules and regulations. This is clearly another new chapter in my life. From a reserved and timid individual, I have become an advocate and David’s learning coach. This new chapter brought forth some epiphany moments in me.

The Epiphany Behind My New Chapter As David’s Learning Coach

Epiphancy of homeschooling

Into the 7 weeks of homeschooling David, I got to see him for the first time cutting shapes independently using a safety scissors. He is able to write phrases reasonably well in lower case letters. So much so that even Grandpa noticed how much he improved in his handwriting. This proud mama had to share with his teacher.

The epiphany moment came when his teacher called me ‘a blessed homeschooling mom’. You see,  7 weeks before, we were not sure if we were ready to home-school David. However, 7 weeks into his Kindergarten, mommy suddenly realized we made the right choice to home-school him. We got to see, our own ‘aha’ moment. Nothing is more worthwhile than experiencing our ‘aha’ moments with David.

New Chapter -What’s For The Future?

For now, we are happy with our decision. We will continue to home-school David until the need arises to make another decision together. To work harder at improving my skills as a learning coach and be more sensitive to David’s feelings to build him up.

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Political correctness

Political Correctness Is Out Of Control, Walking On Egg Shells Is No Freedom

 Political Correctness Is Out Of Control

Is political correctness blamed for many caught walking on egg shells, in homes, work places and social media? What do you think? By the way, have you heard the song ‘I’m walking on sunshine.. wow..wow’? Just a candid comparison to show how it feels to walk on sunshine and walking on egg shells. Be honest, which do you prefer?

Political correctness

The reason for raising this social situation is because we need a more honest and tougher look at what’s happening today.  Insisting on political correctness mentality is spun out of control. At the same time, it takes away our freedom in so many ways.

When did we first hear the phrase ‘political correctness’ before? What does it mean to our families, colleagues at work and online friends on social media? In addition to all my questions, here is the last one: ‘Why is being politically correct so important socially?’ Have you ask why?

How Does Political Correctness Take Away Our Freedom?

Whenever we have to watch over our shoulders to say something in the open, in retrospect, we have no freedom. Unfortunately, a leaked written memo that came out of Google became viral because what was written offended his colleagues and was ultimately shamed on the media this week.

I honestly did not agree with his perspective on some points. Yet, when Google CEO fired him, the news shocked me. Apart from what I think, I do not agree that his memo was worthy of firing. Was he fired for the wrong reasons? He responded by planning to file a complaint against Google.

Did he have the right to respond the way he did? In a way, the firing forced the former Google employee to ‘shut up’. Would that stop him from making his mind known? Did someone take his freedom away? What do you think?

Political Correctness Censors And Robs Our Freedom

This week, Bob Nelson, Fresno Unified’s interim superintendent was on the news. His statement: ‘you have kids who are extremely moldable at this stage, and if you start telling them that LGBT is OK and that it’s a way of life, well maybe you just swayed the kid to go that way‘ brought fire and fury to the LGBT community and an LGBT activist demanded that he should be fired for his statement to the local newspaper, Fresno Bee.

As a mom, I agree with Bob because our young children are visual learners. They cannot process abstract information like the older kids do. These materials are complex and not age appropriate. They often easily persuaded in order to gain an adult’s approval.

Here is another classic example of how often we are walking on egg shells. When a minority group opposes our perspective, we become offensive to them. This clearly reinforce what I’ve to highlight in this article.

Is Tolerance The Answer To Political Correctness And Freedom?

How is intolerance acceptable to some speeches and not to others? Why do we punish those who speak their minds? When do we violate free speech and free press? How can we hold a double standard on free speech when in truth, freedom is for all? Not exclusively for just some of the elite members of the club.

I choose to respectfully disagree and allow him the freedom to express his honest opinion. I also realize we have limit in what we can and cannot tolerate. Now, you are being judgmental.. or am I? We need a tougher look and be honest about what we are able to tolerate and what’s intolerable to us. In the case of Bob Nelson, I believe in what he said and we should protest if Fresno Unified School District fires him.

In retrospect, have we been fair or are we equally judgmental to those who differ from our perspective? As a result, we took away his freedom to be himself, to express his thoughts on various matters. Are we being fair to him as a nation? How about Bob’s case?

Walking On Egg Shells Is No Freedom

If we have to walk on egg shells all the time, the truth of the matter is, we have no freedom. No freedom in speech and actions and most of all, no freedom of the press. Whenever a person gets punish for putting an opinion in print, we rob him or her the freedom to express who he or she is. For a nation that actively encourage freedom, this is unacceptable.

My conclusion to this article is that if we therefore, cannot disagree with respect to those who have different opinions from us, we take away the freedom that belong to all. Can we at the least agree with this?

 

 

 

Charlie Gard

Parental Opinions Matter – No Matter What The Professionals Say

Parental Opinions Matter

When parental opinions are undermined as in Charlie Gard’s case in United Kingdom, who then has the rights? When the States undermine parental opinions arguing that the rights of the child come before his caregivers’ opinions and win, what’s next?

Read moreParental Opinions Matter – No Matter What The Professionals Say

Parental opinions

Too Late For Charlie Gard – Move Forward With His Experimental Treatment In United States

Too Late For Charlie?

This morning I woke up with a heavy heart after receiving a devastating news update on Charlie Gard’s latest development. It is a piece of news no parents look forward to. Both Chris Gard and Connie Yates declared their decision to end their legal battle to save Charlie’s life. This decision came after Dr. Michio Hirano took a look at the scan submitted to the court by the Hospital today. The prognosis did not look good.

According to the report that came out this morning, “Charlie has experienced significant muscular atrophy, for instance, as a result of his condition. While the treatment could potentially improve his condition – though doctors have said the chances are low – it would not be able to reverse those effects and so it is too late to pursue that route, the family has agreed.” 

After 5 months of Charlie’s parents fighting to save their son, it is too late.

Charlie’s Parents Prepare For His Verdict – Too Late

As Chris and Connie make peace to accept the news that they did everything they could to give Charlie a chance to live, no matter how long or short it might seem, to prepare for Charlie’s last remaining days left with them. This is a devastating day not only for them but also for any parents who believe that life is worth saving. No matter how short that little life is or in some circumstances, is allowed to live.

Too late

What does ‘die with dignity’ mean to Charlie? 

Does the term ‘die with dignity’ mean anything to Charlie? Or is ‘die with dignity’ a comforting thought for us as adults because Charlie is a hopeless case? Charlie’s primary doctors could not reach a final decision that Charlie is in pain. How can we say that by removing Charlie’s life support we are letting him ‘die with dignity’? Why do we have to fight this hard to save a life before it is too late?

Is ending a life easier than saving one these day? Who truly win today?

Did the law of Britain win today? 

Judge Fransis will make his decision on Charlie tomorrow and we know what is going to happen to him. For those who believe that the law rules over parental rights, you may feel you are right on today. It is time to celebrate indeed.  Those who think Charlie got 5 more months to live, got justification by the verdict today. You breathe a little better because you are probably right.

The truth is, when a life ends, no one wins. No one reaches this far to stay alive and is ultimately given the verdict that it is ‘too late’. Please I ask you continue to pray for Charlie‘s parents through this ordeal.

Did GOSH Do Enough For Charlie? -Too Late

Did Charlie’s primary doctors from GOSH do all they could, to care adequately for him while put on the ventilator for life support? Or was it true, that his death sentence was declared since March?

My question is: Did Charlie continue to receive any form of therapy that is, physical therapy, while he was under the care of GOSH after March? This action speaks volume because we need to know if Charlie got the death sentence since the hospital decided that he was truly a ‘hopeless case’ in March?

Why does it matter or does it matter to anyone that a hospital has the right to give up on its patient and deny any form of treatment presumably before seeking a second opinion?

By raising these questions I hope we will seriously ponder on what is right and what is appropriate. Charlie deserves an answer from our conscience not out of our convenience.

The Frustration Continues For Chris And Connie

Every step of the way was difficult and obstructed by the Great Ormond Street Hospital in London. In fact the final obstruction came today from GOSH clearly showed how unwilling the Hospital was to help Charlie’s family.

If it is truly so important to GOSH to make sure that Charlie ‘dies with dignity’, then GOSH needs to release him to his family to let him die at home with privacy in his mom and dad’s final care. Just stop making absolute impossibility to Charlie’s final moment.

Judge Fransis Rulings

July 26 update: The battle continues.. Judge Fransis gave a statement that if Charlie’s parents and GOSH cannot reach an agreement by 12pm tomorrow (July 27 ), Charlie will die in a hospice facility.

July 27 update: Judge Fransis ruled that Charlie will die in a hospice facility and Charlie’s parents are disheartened by the outcome of the ruling today.

July 28 update: Charlie passed away today after the order to remove his life support executed.

Reflection on Charlie

Please pray for Chris and Connie as they did the best they could for Charlie. Although life does not always go the way we expect, we can only trust God that He knows why He is in a hurry to receive Charlie back in His arms in Heaven. The truth is even though the world let Charlie down, God will not. He is safe in God’s arms now. Let Charlie #restinpeace.